


Sign Here Part V

by IAmANonnieMouse



Series: Sign Here [5]
Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Afterlife, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: I need your help,the Devil says.How do I make him stop?Eames hesitates. “Sorry, who are we talking about here?”Arthur. He’s driving me crazy, all this talk about catalogues and systems andresearch.I run a respectable underworld, and all he wants to say to me is, “Why can’t the break room stock alternative milks?”“I see,” Eames says.





	Sign Here Part V

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FiaMac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiaMac/gifts).



> _And me, personally, I'm cheering for the sequel where the devil comes to visit Eames for guidance on how to deal with Arthur because Arthur is driving him crazy, calling endless meetings to talk about index numbers, pivot tables, and why can't the break room stock alternative milks?_  
>  ~FiaMac
> 
> For Fia, who gently reminded me that I haven’t given this series the love it deserves as of late. I shamelessly stole some of your lines here. Hope you don't mind! :D

Eames should probably be more used to figures appearing in his bedroom by now. But, alas, when the Devil walks into the room and rouses Eames from a sound sleep, Eames has an unfortunate instinctive reaction.

Seconds later, three bullets are embedded in the far wall of his room, a baby is crying from another apartment, and the Devil looks supremely unimpressed.

“Sorry,” Eames says. “But maybe next time you could knock?”

The Devil somehow speaks without moving its mouth. _I need your help._

 _“My_ help?” Eames repeats. “Um, look, extractions tend not to work on ghosts, since, well, they don’t have a body to extract from.”

 _It’s not that._ The Devil steps closer to the edge of the bed. _May I?_

Eames nods, scooting back against the headboard. The Devil sits at the foot of the bed and sighs.

 _How do I make him stop?_ it asks Eames.

Eames hesitates. “Sorry, who are we talking about here?”

 _Arthur. He’s driving me crazy, all this talk about catalogues and systems and_ research. _I run a respectable underworld, and all he wants to say to me is, “Why can’t the break room stock alternative milks?”_

“I see,” Eames says.

 _How do I get him to stop being…_ The Devil gestures vaguely with its scythe. _Like that._

Eames shrugs. “I have no idea. I learned to just get out of his way and let him work.”

The Devil buries its head in its hands.

“Listen, mate,” Eames says, because the poor sod is looking pretty pitiful, and well stranger things have happened in his life, definitely. “Arthur’s pretty goal-oriented, so once he sets his eyes on a task, there’s no stopping him. Just give him free reign and let him work it out. I promise, you’ll love the results when he’s done.”

The Devil straightens. _If he starts a soul revolt or releases the damned, I’ll be back._

“I’ll be here,” Eames says. He waits until the Devil has completely dematerialized before jumping out of bed to pry the bullets from his wall and deal with the damage control from the noise.

He can already imagine what he’ll say to Arthur next time he visits.

_Darling, I just made a deal with the Devil for you. Again._

**Author's Note:**

> You know the drill. The more comment-ideas you all leave me, the more ridiculous fic I write for these two! ;)
> 
> (I am on [Tumblr.](http://iamanonniemouse.tumblr.com/))


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